Reflections on the past
by hidethespider
Summary: When Leia happens upon an old video recording in the Millenium Falcon's system, of a black haired beauty referring to her darling Han as dear and beloved she can't stop the thinking of all the other women Han might have brought onto the ship before her. Just a little something I was inspired to write after watching the new Han Solo movie. Spoilers for Solo: A Star Wars story!


**Just a little something I was inspired to write after the new Han Solo movie. I loved it and Ehrenreich went high above what I had dared to hope for in his portrayal of Han Solo. But despite the events of that movie, Han and Leia are my otp forever and that's why i base it from Leias perspective rather than from Han's.**

 **(Extercom is just a made up word fro something resembling our internet.)**

 **I always love comments! Please enjoy! ^^**

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Leia was leisuring about in the co-pilot seat of the Falcon, while Han and Chewie had gone off to fix some loose wire or whatever on the piece of junk they called a ship, although a ship that was the most reliable ship any of them had ever known. There had not been much time for leisure in Leias life for a long time, at least not since her joining the rebellion. Now that the empire was crushed, or at least heavily weakened, she couldn't help but contemplating what her purpose in life was anymore. Han had promised bring her safely to the newest rebel outpost, but what would happen when they got there? Would she have a part in building a new republic? Would Han be there? It didn't matter how much he'd told her he loved her, there was still a gnawing worry within her that he would leave as soon as his cargo, a.k.a. her, had been delivered to its destination. He had always lived on the run. Was she really special enough for him to even consider settling down somewhere?

She heard some sound from the corridor outside and soon Han came to sit down next to her in the main pilot seat. "You alright Sweetheart?" he asked with his usual crooked smile. Oh, how this man had become so important to her. Whatever would she do when he decided to leave again?

"I'm alright. Just having a lot on my mind", she said. "I'm actually quite tired. Would you mind if I went to bed early tonight?" She asked and stood up. Han shook his head. "Not at all sweetheart!" and Leia leaned forward to kiss his cheek. "Good night then, captain!" she said and left.

Leia really went straight to bed, but not without bringing one of Han's old command tablets with her. For once in her adult life she actually had free time and might as well take advantage of it. She browsed the tablet's content for a bit after she had snuggled up in her bunk, in search for some kind of enjoyment. She found some interesting things to read on the extercom system, but was careful as to not leave any trace on there that could track them. She had become quite skilled at that, with all those bloody trackers their enemies stuck everywhere.

Suddenly, Leia came upon a video located in the ship's internal system which made her curious. She pressed play and waited for it to load. It was clearly an old recording, made long before any recent system updates. Then suddenly, there was a woman. She was beautiful, with black hair put neatly into a ponytail. She was sitting in the co-pilot seat in the command center - the same place where Leia had been sitting just ten minutes previously. "Uhm..I hope I got this thing to work..." the voice of the woman started. "Hello my dear, beloved Han. I don't know where to s…" Click. Even though the video had peaked Leias interest, and even made her a bit confused and perhaps even slightly suspicious, there was enough honour within her to not listen to a private message that was clearly left there for Han. She could not help but wonder who the woman was though. Was Han still in contact with her? For the first time, Leia realized that Han must have had other women on the Millennium Falcon before her. Loads even, with that face. Did he treat them all in the same way as her, like he was in love them? What happened to those other women? Did he run away from them too, as soon as a good business deal was approaching?

She woke up from her weak slumber when she felt Han's warm body cuddle up against her back. She couldn't help but think how many other women had fallen asleep with him like this, in this particular bed. She soon fell back into a troubled slumber.

Next day, Leia woke up reasonably early, and she decided to take the co-pilot shift for a little while, to let their tall hairy friend get some proper sleep for once.

"Han? May I ask you something?" she started carefully, as they sat next to each other in the pilot chairs. Han nodded, although didn't turn his head away from the control board. "Anything dear."

"Well…" began Leia. "Last night I was browsing the extercom on the tablet for a while before going to sleep and I came upon a video integrated into the ship's system. It looked like it would have been recorded quite some time ago. I didn't mean to look, and I shut it off as soon as I realized it was meant as a private message for you. But I manage to catch the image of a woman, a black haired beauty, using some really affectionate words meant for you…"

Han remained silent for a moment, clearly pondering about something. "Qi'ra", he sighed after a little while. It was the first time he had said the name out loud without feeling that ache in his chest, in the spot she'd been occupying before her final betrayal. "She left a message for me? And it's been here all this while and I never knew?" He seemed somewhat confused, but if there was disappointment in his face it was just a flicker that was gone as soon it had appeared.

"Did you love her? Do you love her still?" Leia asked then, mentally keeping a hold of her own heart in case it would be crushed anytime soon. "Yes. No." Han said. "I mean… I did love her once. Not anymore."

"Who was she?" Leia continued on, quite relieved at Han's words. However, she was quite determined now to find out more about this beauty who once held her beloved Han's heart.

"Just someone I knew, a long time ago. We grew up together, at Corellia. We were childhood friends." Han explained casually. Leia continued: "What happened to her?"

"She did what she had to do", Han explained. "I was always the runner. For her it was about survival. She made some tactical moves and got herself a good position among those redfaces on Dathomir… Never heard from her since."

"It seems like you didn't get a proper ending. Are you sure those feelings won't return if you ever saw her again?" Leia asked tentatively. Han shook his head. "No! I mean, yes, I'm very sure about that." Han assured, almost sounding offended at her question. When Leia asked him how he could be so sure, he turned to look at her with his cheeky grin and raised eyebrows. "Because there is no room for her in my heart anymore… because her previous spot and beyond is already taken by someone else." And then he winked.

That got Leia to put her arms around him and kiss him. "That's just what I wanted to hear, hotshot!"


End file.
